Dreamcasting a RAT QUEENS Adaptation


Cover artist: Fiona Staples

On the recommendation of more than one friend, I read the first trade of Rat Queens recently. For the uninitiated, Rat Queens (writer: Kurtis J. Wiebe, current artist: Tess Fowler) is an out-and-out blast of a graphic novel that follows a rowdy gang of female mercenaries in a town called Palisade. When attempting to describe the Rat Queens themselves, it’s tempting to reach for words like “tough” and “feisty,” but I know if I said those words aloud to the Queens, they’d laugh in my freaking face. These women are the walking embodiment of “DGAF,” equally comfortable at slaughtering goblins and drinking themselves under a table.

The series is a perfect mix of humour, bone-crunching action, and genuinely touching emotional moments. Basically Rat Queens is awesome and I would watch the ever-long-hell out of a television series following their exploits. Don’t get me wrong, the comic is perfect just as it is. Rat Queens doesn’t need to be adapted, but frankly, I think television needs Rat Queens. It’s wonderfully refreshing to read about a bunch of broads who talk frankly and casually about their drug habits, kills, and sexual exploits. On the off-chance that a television executive or producer out there is listening, here would be my dream Queens:

Aubrey Plaza – Hannah

hannah rat queens

Hannah is the elven madge with the rockabilly style and the piss-and-vinegar attitude. Anyone who’s seen even a single episode of Parks and Recreation will know that Plaza already has already perfected the attitude, but it would be interesting to see her translate that to a more physical performance. Plus don’t we all still want to see her on our televisions each week?

Jurnee Smollett – Dee

dee rat queens

Dee is the atheist cleric and healer, who after some theological soul-searching, broke away from her family, who all worship a Cthulu-eque squid god. It’s complicated. Journey Smollett was fantastic as a determined female football coach in-training on Friday Night Lights, and is familiar to fantasy audiences after a turn on True Blood. She’d be perfect at playing a strong-willed, no-nonsense, but caring and thoughtful woman who is always willing to give her friend a boost.

Tina Majorino – Violet

violet rat queens

Tina Majorino is most famous for her turn as everyone’s favourite teen hacker Mac from Veronica Mars but I think it would be fun to see her doing battle with an axe instead of a mouse. She’s got the fair-redhead looks and definitely can bring the sass. She’d be a perfect choice for Violet, the Queens’ resident dwarven warrior, who shaved her beard before it was cool and is more than willing to take a tumble with a guy who keeps birds in his (what, like you haven’t?).

Imogen Poots – Betty

betty rat queens

Betty, the goofy-yet-compelling “smidgen” thief whose signature cocktail is tequila, vodka, and shrooms, and whose idea of a well-balanced meal is candy … and shrooms. Physically, Poots is a close match: she has the elfin features and blonde hair (we can let LOTR-style CGI do the shrinking). But more importantly, Imogen Poots has some serious comedy chops. She is irrepressibly likeable, and is always able to inject a note of genuine pathos into her comedic turns.

Those are my picks; who are the Rat Queens of your dreams? Any ideas for the other characters? Let me know!


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