These Aren’t the Carbs You’re Looking For: A Geek Guide to Breakfast

Here at Panels, we don’t just Read Harder, we also Eat Harder. Well, maybe not “harder”, but certainly geekier. So, for your reading/eating enjoyment, we present to you A Geek Guide to Breakfast.

WAFFLES

Now, as anyone who has ever eaten breakfast knows, waffles are awesome. They are, as they say, like pancakes with abs. But, just like how sweet abs take a lot of work, waffles take a lot more effort than pancakes. I can make a batch of sour cream pancakes in the amount of time I’m waiting for the yeast in the waffle batter to activate. It’s really no wonder Batman is so mad at Robin here:

But let’s say you really want some waffles and you don’t feel like paying IHOP for the pleasure. The first thing you’re going to need is a good waffle iron. And by “good”, I mean suitably geeky.

First up, the Marvel MVA-281Avengers Waffle Maker:

The only criticism: #WheresBlackWidow?

But maybe what you really want is a big waffle that looks like Captain America’s shield? In that case, check out the Marvel MVA-278 Captain America Shield Waffle Maker:

I want to fling that waffle across the room at someone, and maybe use it to recreate scenes from the Captain America: Civil War trailer.

Fine, fine, you don’t want an Avengers waffle. Then witness the power of this fully armed and operational waffle maker:

For some inexplicable reason, DC doesn’t seem to have gotten onto the waffle maker bandwagon—perhaps because breakfast eaters are not “core comics fans“—so if you want a Batman waffle, you’re out of luck. Maybe try a pancake next time…

PANCAKES

So, bad news, Batfans: I lied. DC also hates pancakes, so there’s no official Batman pancake mold. But, good news! If you’re willing to make slightly smaller pancakes, you can use this Batman cookie cutter:

There are a bunch of Batman cookie cutters out there, but having made pancakes with a mold before, I really like that these have a silicone grip, so you don’t have to grab the scalding hot cookie cutter after it’s been on the griddle for a few minutes. Plus, at 10.5cm wide (~4 inches), you’ll get a pretty respectable size pancake from it. Just be sure to rub the inside down with butter to minimize sticking… (You can also make a regular round pancake and then cut out the shape afterwards—this is a lot easier, but not as efficient batter-wise, though it does give you an excuse to nibble on pieces of pancake before serving.)

Remember that Death Star waffle maker we just looked at like 15 seconds ago? Well, here are the perfect pancake molds to go with it:

Just image recreating the trench run from Star Wars with these tasty breakfast foods. No, seriously, take a moment to pause and imagine running through your kitchen with an X-Wing pancake trying to hit the exhaust port of a Death Star waffle, while your SO chases you down with a TIE Advanced pancake. It sounds like the sort of pure joy that only exists in the movies. Now, quick, go buy those pancake molds before they’re all sold out.

For a truly geeky breakfast experience, you might try the official recipe for Aunt May’s Wheatcakes from Untold Tales of Spider-Man. I haven’t tried them myself, so you’ll have to report back in the comments if you make them and love/hate them.

Skeptical of the Aunt May’s wheatcakes? Fine—check out that link for sour cream pancakes above. They are beaucoup tasty.

CEREAL

Okay, DC fans, I’ve strung you along long enough. Despite their vehement anti-waffle stance, DC has jumped aboard the breakfast train with competing Batman (Chocolate Strawberry) and Superman (Caramel Crunch) cereals. There was a fancy promotional boxed set sent out when the cereals were released, but assuming you don’t want to spend a small fortune on eBay for your breakfast, you can also buy individual boxes from a grocery store near you (or Amazon, if you’re already ordering a waffle maker or three).

There. Now go forth and eat some breakfast.

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